Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Christmas carols - which one suits you?!

Christmas Songs For The "Mentally Disturbed"
(I don't like this title, but I couldn't think of a better one..)

Do you Hear What I Hear?

We Three Queens Disoriented Are

I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas

Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores andOffice and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and FireHydrants and.....

Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me.

You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell you Why.

ilent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All is Flat, All is Lonely.

Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock ............(better start again)

On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took itall away).

Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire);

Saturday, December 10, 2005

A long time coming

I thought, seeing as I haven't posted in ages, and have just been reading other people's blogs, I should get on and provide a little reading material here, even if it's only for 2 people (including myself!).

Christmas is coming and I haven't bought a single thing. I think I have agreed with F that we minimalise the presents this year and buy for parents only, as it got stupid last year with the amount we spent. Seeing as we should be buying stuff for the wedding, it doesn't make sense to shell it all out again on things that people probably don't want, anyway. Money is tight, but I don't think that is going to change any time soon.

I'm in the process of applying to study Social Work as a masters at the moment, but I'm stuck on getting someone to be a reference. Unfortunately, the person who is willing to do it doesn't like computers too much, and these days there are no paper forms - oh, for the days of photocopying your original UCAS form a zillion times so you could practise before filing out the real thing! For anyone who isn't British, UCAS is the system we use to apply to Universities etc. for further and higher education. I can't be bothered to explain further than that! Suffice to say that it is a long-winded process. Cross fingers for me that I get on the course!

Hopefully I have won a prize for some of my shooting skill at my rifle club tonight - although, it was for shooting 5 tiny clay animals in a team of 3, without altering the sights or getting any practise shots! I'll find out if my prowess won out on Sunday :)

I've been a little nostalgic at work tonight, making paper chains in red and green paper to add a little colour to the hall here. This time, I used tape, and didn't have to lick'n'stick those pre-gummed ones I always used to have to use as a kid. No more envelope mouth! With all the lights and trees, etc. up here, it almost looks pretty.

Friday, November 11, 2005

A letter received at work

This is a letter that one of our regular clients sent to us. I thought I would share it with you all (names removed). I can't put the photos in for obvious reasons:

Dear all,

I thought you might like to see the real me. On my holiday with my old mates; in lemon dress, as (sic) my old friends wedding; chief bridesmaid to my sister's wedding with my mum, and the one of my very much loved George - the gift for taking my first steps I took after being in ITU from Oct 86 - March 87. You can see the difference in me before, out every night with my mates, 5 full days at (work place) and saturday 8.45-18.00 in (shop) in (town). Then, one night in Oct 86 I was knocked down by a speeding car with no lights on. My life taken from me. No work, no going out, nothing, just an ugly bashed body full of scars and a hell of a lot hate in, which you may have seen. The doc gives me god knows how many pills as you know, I'll never be a proper or "real" person ever again. "What's the point in living, eh."

Thank you so much for looking after me, I am so sorry for being such pain to you all.

Much love,

****** x

Friday, October 14, 2005

Thanks again to Rednaked!!

I like this - it's a cheats version of a post when I have a cold and can't be bothered to think...

Helen needs to find some soldiers that were in the 4th Infantry Division

Helen needs to do more studying

Helen needs your immediate attention

Helen needs to change her life and quickly

Helen needs you in the trailer

and finally...

Helen Needs YOUR HELP NOW!

Directions type "(your name) needs" (with the quotes) into google search. Pick out your favourite responses and post 'em.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

As stolen from Rednaked

1. What is your current occupation? Assistant Manager in a care home for Phys. Dis. adults.
2. What color is your underwear? I think they were once pink!
3. What are you listening to right now? The horrible sound this computer makes (I think it's the fan...) and the night staff talking outside.
4. What was the last thing you ate? A breaded chicken thing with rice and veg.
5. Do you wish on stars? No.
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Definitely RED. I always adored Crayola red!
7. How is the weather right now? Black! It's night time, and a bit chilly.
8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Not sure. F last night, I think.
9. Do you like the person who sent this to you? I stole it, so hah!
10. How old are you today? 25
11.Favorite drink? I like a lot of drinks - milk with strawberry nesquik is good, or a mcdonalds vanilla milkshake.
12. Favorite sport to watch? Gymnastics
13. Have you ever dyed your hair? Yes, I most often dye it reddish.
14. Do you wear contacts or glasses? No.
15. Pets? 2 cats (and a spare that really lives across the road, but has taken up residence), and many fish.
16. Favorite month? December
17. Favorite food? OOooooooooooohhh, all of it. I love food! Mostly fatty bad things, though.
18. What was the last movie you watched? I started watching Dirty Dancing before I left for work!
19. Favorite day of the year? I have to pick one day in the year? Christmas day - I still love the magic!
20. What do you do to vent anger? Occasionally throw things, get grumpy, have an argument.
21. What was your favorite toy as a child? TC - my bear.
22. Fall or Spring? Autumn, as I'm English!
23. Hugs or kisses? Hugs AND kisses, but only from F.
24. Cherry or Blueberry? Neither!
25. When was the last time you cried? My birthday :(
26. What is on the floor of your closet? Shoes and jumpers.
27. What is under your bed? Some boxes, I think.
28. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Anna - she is 6 days younger than me!
29. What did you do last night? I worked here, awake all night.
30. Favorite smell? Maybe vanilla? Or fried onions. CAKE!
31. What inspires you? I have no idea. That's odd.
32. What are you afraid of? Spiders and things with dangly legs. Crane flys hate me.
33. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Plain or cheese with all the trimmings.
34. Favorite car? Not mine, it's a lemon. A nice sporty one, like a porsche boxster.
35. Favorite dog breed? Don't really have one - I'm a cat lady.
36. Number of keys on your key ring? 4, and I think I have 3 on my car key ring too.
37. How many years at your current job? 3 or so.
38. Favorite day of the week? None! My days off.
39. How many states have you lived in? None at all.
40. What magazines do you subscribe to? None!

Thursday, September 22, 2005

It's been a while I know, but...

...I just keep putting it off! Work has been busy, and I've been away for a little bit, but I'm back in the zone now, and blogging a little to keep the hounds at bay :)

I'm still strapped for cash, but whats new with that? Got to wait to win the lottery to pay for my wedding! Go on, donate me some cash!!

OK, brain isn't in gear for this yet, so this will have to do. Send me nice messages, please.

Saturday, September 03, 2005


Wow. It is just filtering down to me now quite how bad and devastating this hurricane has been to New Orleans. I would advise going over to Killoggs (link on right) if you want a first hand description of someone who was there - it started to make it hit home for me.

One of the staff here just commented to me that we really don't realise how lucky we are in the UK. My heart goes out to those who have, are, or will be suffering due to this catastrophe. I wish there was something I could do to help, but all I can do is read the accounts of the devastation, and say my thoughts are with you all.

From Reuters.com:
"Many stranded evacuees recounted horrific tales of murder, rape, death threats and near-starvation inside the filthy, reeking shelter this week."

"Two infants were among those who perished because help was too slow in coming."


Friday, September 02, 2005

Give me money, Goddamnit!!!

OK, Paypal is working again, so you can give me lots of cash to pay for my wedding now :) If everyone gives £1 or $1, I will love you forever and send you wedding photos :D

Still working hard, but that's no surprise.

Do you remember the people I mentioned where the guy was having all the affairs, and the girl didn't know about it? Well, they're having a "trial separation", but not because of the affairs... she still doesn't know, sadly.

Don't forget, before you go, stick a quid in my wedding pot!

Saturday, August 27, 2005

If I were a rich girl...

I think I agree with that old saying that money does, indeed, make the world go round. I can't seem to do anything without needing money for it. And all the bills come at once. Why is that??

Still got to find £500 to put down the deposit for the caterers for the wedding, and I need to get a cheque to the guy who is doing the music. I should really contact him about that, too....

And my Paypal account isn't working! All of you lovely people who have tried to give me millions of pounds, please try again soon :D I have food to buy!

Working my arse (ass?!) off at the moment, too. I did twice as much as normal last month, so I'm dead beat, and still working hard. I worked 4.30-11.45 (well, I turned up at 3.45, but couldn't get in!) yesterday, and slept in until 9 the next morning, then I went straight over to another client to do 9.30-11.30 am, and now I am doing 3-10pm. I got loads of phone calls from people yesterday trying to get me to do this shift and that shift. I can't be in 2 places at once, people! Working another 3-10pm tomorrow, and I have been asked to do a sleep in here until 7.30am. Then I am working 10-3 somewhere else..... and the list goes on! I need a holiday.

An idea - scrap the wedding, and I'll have a holiday instead!

Or just a good nights sleep.


Saturday, August 20, 2005


Whilst watching a quiz (with friends) that asked "What is the longest animal in the world?" (answer: a kind of jellyfish), a friend of ours responded by saying "Yeah, it may the longest, but you can get bigger." !!


He also says you can get animals that are 3 miles long. I'd love to visit his world one day. It sounds like fun!

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Don't call me Jeezy Chreezy!

Hey all. I've added the title bar so that I have to think about something vaguely interesting to put up there now. I was swimming around in the internet ether, when I was reminded of a line from one of Eddie Izzard's stand up shows, where God is speaking to Jesus, and calling him.... well, I think, if you can read the title, you can figure out what he was being called, and what he thought of it.

Not much news to tell. I'm working shit loads at the moment, so all I seem to be doing is either working or sleeping. No money or time to do anything else! I need a break, but I don't have much leave left, so I need to save it to go and visit some family soon. These things never work out the way they are supposed to...

This is the news this week:

F has a new bike (very sexy)
We owe lots of money
A lot more of the wedding is sorted now, and most of the main things are booked
I bought my friend and apple tree for her birthday
I may be getting a new cat

There you go, the news in brief...!

Leave me a message :D

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

OK, I've decided that I am going to be a blog-whore, and I have stuck a Paypal donation button over there on the right ---------->

Please send me a donation to go into my wedding fund! I thought that someone out there might send me lots of money so I can finally stop worrying about feeding people, and the colour of tablecloths. Anything you wanna give would be greatly appreciated :)

Go on, you know you want to help a bride out!!

Love you all :D

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Right. I've done it! Got a brand new template, which is rather lovely, I think. I'm still updating the links section as the link manager I was using kept disappearing. If I have missed you off and you would like to be included, then drop me a line and I'll add you!

Thursday, July 28, 2005

I'm back! I've just been busy of late, and trying not to shut myself away at work too much, so that all means I've not so much time to sit and prattle to cyberspace. I was amazed to see that I was missed! Very sweet :) I'll try to keep up the posting, promise.

It's been pretty hectic recently. I've pretty much no money at the moment, and F was screwed on his last paycheck, so we're really paying for that at the moment as all the bills are piling up. Also, my car has a nail in a tyre, and I have lost the locking wheel nut key, meaning I have to get all the nuts broken off, and buy a new set, just to change a tyre! More money...

F has been very sweet and brave (for him) and decided to sell a lot of the stuff he has collected, plus his motorbike, just so we can have some money. I'm working loads, so I'm really tired all the time, and he hates his job! Great fun.

We've also got a friend staying with us for a while whilst he sorts his head out (splitting up with gf and selling house), but he very kindly stocked up the kitchen cupboards last night as his contribution to staying :) It was sorely needed, I tell you. I had some cheese, oranges, lemons, 2 yoghurts, lettuce and pickles in my fridge. Not a huge amount to eat!

I've been trying to remortgage the house, but there is something on my credit file that is stopping me from doing it, so that is a pain too. We could free up some capital if I could do it!

Anyway, just a quick burst of news. I'll try to change my template at some point, so that the posts are normal again!

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Don't know why, but my posts have all shifted down since I put in my new timer (see above!). Any ideas?!

Monday, June 20, 2005

OK, what a crappy morning this morning turned out to be, in a topsy-turvy turn of events. I'll give a brief bit of background...

I was supposed to supervise a certain staff member (I'll call her D) as there have been a few issues surrounding her that needed dealing with, including a client complaint. I had planned to do the supervision a couple of times, and was never able to fit it in. I then was pulled aside by my manager, who told me I need to do this supervision ASAP due to the complaint that had been made (not serious, but needed dealing with, all the same). I planned another time, and agreed it with both my manager and D, as it meant that I had to come in on my day off to do it. I later came to realise that I couldn't make the appointment due to other work commitments, so had to talk to my manager again about other solutions. We eventually agreed that I would catch up with D when I finished my shift, and she started hers after my night. This was last night. Sounds like a bit of a logistical nightmare, right?

OK, bearing that in mind, I had spoken to a coworker about another staff member (I'll call her A) who seemed sleepy on nights, and could have been sleeping on the job. I was asked to keep an eye on her during the night (last night), so I popped my head in the door to the room where the 2 staff members were sat. I saw A lying back in a reclining chair, a blanket wrapped around her, a newspaper on her lap, and her head to one side. This, surprisingly, looked to me like she was asleep.

I made some noise as I was going into the room, and she looked up. "Hmmm", I thought. Later on, I cornered the 2nd staff member (C), and asked her if A was sleeping. She said no, just had her eyes closed and was dozing (this is another point altogether - when is dozing not sleeping??), but wasn't sleeping. C then apparently mentioned in passing to A that I had asked if she was sleeping, and A got extremely confrontational, asking why I hadn't confronted her about it, and that I was very unprofessional. She also said she would be calling the manager later in the morning.

I assumed from this that she was going to make a complaint against me FOR DOING MY JOB, that I broke down in tears with the other manager (Who said "People make complaints against me all the time - don't worry about it!!"). We wrote down what had happened, in case it did ever come to anything, but on reflection I don't think it will - why would you get so confrontational about it if you weren't (or haven't in the past) sleeping?? So, that was great.

I then had to deal with the original staff member, D, in regards of the complaint, but in contrast she was so sweet about it, and it was an easy deal!

So, what I thought would be easy to monitor, and an innocent question, blew up in my face, and the seemingly challenging issue that has been making me very worried was the easiest thing of all to deal with! I am really not looking forward to seeing A again, but D I would face any day instead!

Sorry for the long post, but it had to be said!

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Forgot to blog this the other day, but I shot in a competition recently and found out that I had won everything I entered for in my class! That's 6 medals I have now - yey me!!

Got to catch up with one of my supervisees in the morning before she starts work, and before I leave at about 7.30am to discuss a complaint made by a client. How fun. At least I won't be here to experience the fall-out!

F had the first day of his access course to take his motorbike test today. Full test on Monday, so cross your fingers for him. Bless him - he was told off for tailgating today!

I have an idea for another post, but may come back later and do it. Still don't know what has happened to my links!

Friday, June 17, 2005

I'm a sheep, I know I am. (PS I have no idea where my links have gone, but I am investigating...)

My uncle once: Made inferences about me having big boobs, which was odd.
Never in my life: have I given blood. Freaks me out, man...
When I was five: (I think) I shut my thumb in a car door and shoved my finger into the car cigarette lighter. As you do. But not at the same time!
High school was: awkward and clumsy.
I will never forget: How to spell difficulty - Missus D, Missus I, Missus F, F, I; Missus C, Missus U, Missus L, T, Y!
I once met: Johnny Ball. Woohoo.
Once at a bar: I bought a round. Boom boom.
By noon I'm usually: Awake?
Last night: I went out for a drink with some friends, had a chinese with my partner, drank too much wine and fell asleep on the sofa...
If only I had: more close friends.
Next time I go to church: will be for my Uncle's funeral on the 24th.
I have a confession to make: I hate old people.
When I turn my head left: I see filing cabinets and pigeon holes.
When I turn my head right: I see a car park. Wow, stimulating.
You know when I'm lying when: I blush from my feet to my ears.
Every day I think about: eating. And sleeping.
By this time next year: I'll be married!!!
I have a hard time understanding: my non-sense of direction when I drive.
If I ever go back to school I'll: try and be cooler, and less embarrased about everything. Ever.
You know I like you when: I want to do stuff with you. And I blush.
If I won an award the first person I'd thank is: F.
My ideal breakfast is: Toast, lightly browned, with either P/butter or lemon curd, depending on my mood, and a cup of tea.
A song I love, but do not have is: Something silly by DJ Sammy...
If you visit my hometown, I suggest: going somewhere else.
Why won't anyone: give me a better job?
If you spend the night at my house: there will be lots of pot.
I'd stop my wedding for: only a very very very good reason.
The world could do without: people who intentionally pick a fight. Rude people.
I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: touch frosted glass.
Paper clips are more useful than: Jelly, for holding paper together.
If I do anything well: I am impressed by myself!
And by the way: I need to stop picking my arms.
The last time I was drunk: Last night, slightly. A week or so ago, majorly!

Monday, June 06, 2005

me and freddy

me and freddy
Originally uploaded by superpsych.

So, now you can finally see what I look like when I am tired and I haven't brushed my hair! Also, the camera isn't so kind to one who doesn't wear a layer of makeup on my skin... The cat is Freddy, one of my lovelies. He has just come back from the vet, bless him.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

I thought it was high time I blogged a little blog entry, as I haven't done for a while. I'm having to really think about weddings now, as mine is in less than a year. It sounds a lot, but really it isn't! I still haven't managed to book the reception, and I have been faffed about by some woman who said she would do the photography, but after 4 months or so, I haven't actually heard from her personally. I think I'll have to give up on that one.

Thankfully (and I am really grateful for this - I don't want to just sound greedy!) F's Dad has said he wants to help out with the wedding, and I am assuming that he means in a monetary way, so that is very very cool as we are very very broke at the moment. I am trying to decide whether it is better to save up all my "leftover" money at the end of the month (leftover... hah!), or to split it between savings and my credit card. God. Money. Crap.

So, that's my life at the moment. Some nastiness with the next door neighbours calling F a "fucking psycho" for having a (very well controlled) fire in the back garden. She offered to call the fire brigade... Also, they have built a brick extension on the back of the house, giving us a lovely eyesore view and blocking out half the light from 4pm onwards. Nice.

Oooh... time to go!!!

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

In response to Rednaked Woman, here are the answers to my interview:

1. What/who is the longest friendship you have ever maintained?

I don't tend to keep very close friends, but my oldest friendship goes back to 6 days after I was born, and she is now going to be a bridesmaid at my wedding.

2. What do you love most about your job? Hate the most?

Hmmm. The love part is hard, so I'll start with the hate. I hate the fact that although the carers here know that they are essentially working in someones "home", they act like the clients are priveliged to have them around, and certainly don't act like carers! There is a huge apathy here at the moment, which is hard to break people out of. I love the fact that I get to spend a lot of time on the computer/internet. Not a great plus point to the job!

3. Do you think you’re more like your mom or dad and why?

I am actually a big combination of the 2 together, but I suppose I am more like my Mum. I see a lot of attributes in myself that I don't like, and then I realise that I also see them in my Mum. I don't think I want to end up like her, sadly.

4. Where would you go and what would you do on your dream vacation?

This is a hard one. I would go anywhere! No, somewhere where I can can all-inc, cold drinks, hot (but not too hot) sun, sand, sea, with my partner, being able to just relax and not worry that my fish have died (yes, happened when I last went away), or the house has fallen down (no, didn't happen!), or getting a call from work. That would be nice!

5. You have said “Women, on the whole, intimidate me”. Specifically what intimidates you and why?

I feel like I am not feminine enough to compete, and often feel frumpy/dowdy, fat, awkward, badly dressed etc. next to others. I know this is awful self-imagery, and I need to improve it, but what's a girl to do? I think it all stems from being the tall, awkward and clumsy girl at school, who didn't really get any interest from boys until I was 18, and then it was from 2 who I suppose were "geeks". I get very insecure very easily - I don't often get invited to places, but see others getting invited, and can never figure out why it's not me! How sad did all that sound... but you did ask!

OK, the instructions for this interview are as follows:

Blog-A-Thon Instructions:Here’s how it works:Leave a comment saying "interview me" if you’d like to be interviewed. I’ll respond by asking you 5 questions here. They’ll be different than those above. Update your blog with your answers to the questions. When you do so, include this same explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same manner. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you’ll ask them five new questions.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Ooh ooh ooh! Just realised that I hadn't mentioned the big invite to the reopening of other half's pub/restaurant which burnt down. Has been refurbed (not quite finished yet), and sig. others have all been invited to partake of some free food and champers next Saturday! Lovely lovely :) I shall enjoy that most thoroughly!

Apparently it will be "lovingly prepared" by "the team"... I did ask how much love would be in my food, and got the following comment:

"Give me 15 minutes between courses, and you never know how much you're gonna get!"

Sadly, Ginger George has now been returned to his rightful owners, and left me with not an insubstantial hole in my heart :( They were very very pleased to see him, and so grateful that we had returned him as they thought that after a month of being missing, he had been run over. I cried all the time I was there! He is a gorgeous little cat, and I will always keep a special place in my heart for him, alongside my 2 current lovelies. God, I am such a softie. But I miss him!

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Sad news (for me at least!) - I have to give Ginger George back. There was a message at work that someone was missing him, so I did the honest thing and gave them a call - have to drop him back tomorrow night. I'm going to miss him! But I really won't miss all the pee and poo in the plant pots...

I've sold some bits on eBay recently after a bit of a clear out at my parent's place - gathering all of my childhood nostalgia items together for a great afternoon of reading and giggling! I managed to sell a model car (don't ask) for about £20, and a set of Spike Milligan books for £10, but I put an original 50s "easy readers" book (Alice in Wonderland) on there in pristine condition, and it went for the pricely sum of £2.20. I'm pretty sure it's worth more than that.

And that brings me to my moan - eBay. Is it taking the value out of EVERYTHING?! You have your carboots, your tabletop sales, eBay etc. etc. and you used to be able to have a hunt through and find a genuine bargain. But these day, everyone is an expert and is selling broken board games for £5 because they're "vintage", and everything is gradually losing it's value. Maybe I'm only moaning about this because I made less money than I thought I might... I don't know!

On a moaning note, why is it that when I send out an email to all the other managers here about making sure that they get all client money transactions double signed in the money folder because if we were audited we would get bollocked due to the complete lack of procedure being followed, that they decide that they will maybe read the email (I have no idea if they have or not), but decide that they really can't be bothered to follow my instructions? I have now (as instructed by my line manager) sent them all individual emails detailing the clients that they haven't had double signed and asking that they do this, and I have copied this to my manager. Am I missing something, or is getting a quick squiggle on a piece of paper you already have out too hard? We shall see.

Don't forget to add yourself to my bloglinker list on the right if you drop by!

Sunday, May 08, 2005

OK, I have recently rediscovered the "100 things about me" posts, so I feel like redoing mine, whipping that bad boy off the side bar there, and replacing him with a link to this list! Sounds like a plan for a less busy side bar, I hear you say, and you'd be right! OK, so here goes nothing...

100 things about ME.

1. I am 24.
2. I am female, but don't always feel completely feminine.
3. I am WAY too emotional sometimes.
4. I am lazy.
5. I tend to procrastinate.
6. I currently have red hair with some highlights.
7. I own 2 cats, and am fostering a 3rd.
8. I have piranhas, oscars, and assorted other tropical fish, including snails.
9. I shoot holes in bits of paper for a hobby.
10. I live in Devon, my lover.
11. I am daily frustrated by how little people care for the people they are supposed to care for.
12. I have a bad habit of picking at my upper arms.
13. I was once diagnosed with depression, and on meds for a year whilst at uni.
14. I don't keep in contact with any of my friends from uni.
15. I am getting married in May 2006!
16. I can waste many hours on a computer and the net.
17. I am extremely broody.
18. I know a secret about a cheater, but I can't tell the cheatee.
19. I smoke pot. A lot.
20. I don't like coffee, and have given up sugar in my tea.
21. I have irrational fear of all things creepy and crawly.
22. And the dark.
23. And people walking behind me.
24. And dying.
25. I am 5 ft 8.
26. I love wearing heels, but don't get to do it very often.
27. I work in a care home for physically disabled adults.
28. Some days I hate it, and some days I don't so much.
29. I have a degree in Psychology, and I'm not using it.
30. I have a great love for nearly all things musical.
31. And animal.
32. I confess that I see cruelty to animals as worse than cruelty to people.
33. I will never give blood.
34. I have no appendix.
35. My feet are size 8 (UK).
36. I enjoy reading, but don't do enough of it.
37. I love car boot sales, but never find anything I want to buy.
38. I used to have my tongue pierced but took it out after a year.
39. I have a tattoo of a black widow spider on my right shoulder blade.
40. I don't like spiders.
41. I love my tattoo.
42. I used to wish that I had glasses.
43. Or a brace.
44. I have since concluded that I am very thankful to have both good teeth and eyes.
45. I always spend more than I earn.
46. I can't eat spicy food.
47. I hate the word "pack"...
48. I wear a watch worth £750 to a job where I have to clean up bodily fluids sometimes.
49. I hate being on the pill, and frequently forget to take it.
50. I'm not sure there are 100 things to tell about me.
51. I have a published book dedicated to me.
52. My house is always cluttered and messy.
54. My home-made cookies are to die for.
55. I am a part-time Christian.
56. I have cheated, but not on my fiance.
57. I wish I had paid more attention as a child.
58. My parents are getting divorced.
59. Sometimes I have weird and mental thoughts that I would like to experience different mental illnesses just to see what they are like.
60. Maybe that is a mental illness of it's own...
61. My custard is always lumpy.
62. I am voyeuristic by nature, but not sexually.
63. I would love to be keen to exercise, but I'm not.
64. I wish I was more popular.
65. I don't get invited to much.
66. I still love my student drink of Snakebite and Black. A lot of bars won't serve it.
67. I haven't tried many spirits.
68. I don't like coconut.
69. Or mushrooms.
70. I can't touch my nails to frosted glass as it sets my teeth on edge.
71. I am the guarantor in my Dad's will.
72. I want to be buried when I die, and not cremated.
73. But I'd rather not die at all.
74. I love the smell of my fiance's breath.
75. I love finding out that someone finds me attractive, but I'm also extremely embarrassed and would never act on it.
76. I have one filling.
77. I have blue eyes.
78. To get my fix of babies, I watch baby and midwife programmes in the day.
79. I lost a baby 2 years ago.
80. To this day that kills me inside, but not many people who know me know that.
81. I sometimes think I am a bad person.
82. I am not very tactile - only with my fiance.
83. I love 80s kids cartoons and shows.
84. I have a bad memory.
85. I miss singing as part of a choir like I would miss a limb being removed.
86. Smoking has fucked up my voice.
87. But I still say I am a non-smoker as a technicality due to the fact that I have never smoked straight tobacco...
88. I would love to do magic shrooms again.
89. I get on much better with men than with women.
90. Women, on the whole, intimidate me.
91. I also get intimidated by children.
92. And embarrassed talking to men.
93. I think I'm a bit of a freak!
94. My partner doesn't know about this blog.
95. I have bad days where I get quite paranoid about my partner.
96. I would like to be more motivated and productive, but I am too lazy.
97. But not too lazy to write this list, which is on work time.
98. I really hate working nights as it fucks up my body clock.
99. I wish I saw more of my family.
100. I love my fiance with my whole heart, body and soul.
(101. There are 100 things about me!)
Hah! Who'da guessed it!

You're Lolita!

by Vladimir Nabokov

Considered by most to be depraved and immoral, you are obsessed with
sex. What really tantalizes you is that which deviates from societal standards in every
way, though you admit that this probably isn't the best and you're not sure what causes
this desire. Nonetheless, you've done some pretty nefarious things in your life, and
probably gotten caught for them. The names have been changed, but the problems are real.
Please stay away from children.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

What has happened to Tequila Mockingbird?? It seems that she has not posted for over a month, which is out of character, and people are getting worried. The hunt has been started in the hope that someone knows someone who knows what has happened to Julia (6 degrees of seperation!). Check out This site for more details.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

My list of things to do this afternoon (client's names have been altered!):

  • William - olive oil in blocked ear
  • Buy Daniel cigarettes
  • Pay aromatherapy monies
  • Re-type month end finance sheets
  • Meet with Joe
  • Email Elaine re NVQs/supervisees
  • Get Daniel to elevate legs in the afternoon and at night
  • Encourage fluids with Emma, and give 2 x docusate for bowels
  • Re-type dates for bank holiday working
  • Send email re Joe's electric chair not working
  • Send email to all manager's re their complete lack of being able to get money transactions double signed, and the consequences if we were audited and I hadn't gone through and done it on their behalf...
  • Re-type social lists, keyworker lists and bath date lists
  • Compile info on assertiveness training.

And that is just the extra stuff I have to do over the weekend! I know it looks like a lot, but it's not too bad - just stuff I have been avoiding, really! I'll try and cross things off as I get to them...

I'm getting there!

I have been recieving a lot of spam recently, most of it centred around "You have been selected for the lowest mortgage rate!". I decided that I have had enough of these, so I wrote them back! I know that I will now most likely get one million more emails, but it certainly made me feel better at the time...! This is the reply that I send:

Look, you have sent me about 5000000000000000000000000000 emails about
stupid mortgage rates in AMERICAN DOLLARS. I am NOT American. I am
CERTAINLY not interested in your "lowest rates" that I have been
supposedly approved for. If you continue to bombard my email address
with junk, then I will be forced to put all of the email addresses I
receive shitty stupid email from on the internet and encourage others
to spam YOU. You have been warned.

FUCK OFF. Please!
I have just received this email from one Estella Meeks, and at first I wasn't quite sure what to make of it. It seems to be a spam email, but it is written more in the style of a student email?! Very odd, and very disjointed, but worth a read!

Now presenting:
You know you've allways wanted it - watchees: elegent, fancy, impressive repliccas!
You can impress you're lady/man with:
roleex (including vip roleex), carttier, braitling, bulgari and much much more...
The bast brand s in the world!
Just naame it - We got it :)

hmmmmm i just can't wait :)

shauna hi best buddy in the whole wide world! its ur favorite bffl me!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahaha.
overall a pretty empty common room and an hour before i have to leave for class with little else to do except post.
hey! cute neices nephews ya got there! thanks alot for stopping by my web site and signing my guestbook and by the way i live in michigan too!
once you begin using your journal you can view statistics in your members area to see how many people are reading your journal as well as where they come from.
count the royals among the interested parties if the angels choose to part with suspended outfielder.
concentration is the ability to think about absolutely nothing when it is absolutely necessary.
white feminist women openly degrade foreign women by calling them whores property submissive etc all because foreign women dare to date and m arry american and western european men.
chris me again i just checked and it s under journal privacy hope that helps have a good day!
living in england you are very luck to have a league so fin.
putting it back to stock fixing the damage that was done to it when it was stolen and partially stripped putting all the go fast stuff into my syclone.
ram air hood computer turbo intake tires airbags window tint tonneu cover carpet bedliner air dam and more.
ami kvo da ti kaja te niakoi hora ti go kazaha biva ma mnogo postno neshto samo s tia text links neshto po interaktivno kato cheli ne bi bilo zle.
for more detailed information check my homepage measurements done with a g-tech currently averaged out of three runs.
guy where are you? i am in the lab look up are you using benji s computer? guy.
jas i havent been here in a while good job i hope that things are going well at college have a fun christmas break.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

I'm at work, visiting a client before he settles down for bed, and when I walk away I hear "BASTARD!!!" in what sounds like a very heartfelt manner being yelled from the room next door. Not entirely sure what to make of that, but then that client (we'll call him Angry ABI) does like (probably not the right word, but never mind!) to shout at people moving chairs, not speaking loudly enough, making what he deems to be "stupid" comments etc. etc. and you will always be treated to a selection of his "angry" vocabularly e.g. "Stupid fucking bitch" muttered under the breath after a comment made by a carer that it was a nice day, or some such mundanity.

So you see why I was, and wasn't, bothered. He was most likely yelling at a newscaster on the TV... but maybe he was just having a good shout!!

I have a lot of work to do tonight, so I really ought to get up and do some. Well, I say it's a lot, but it's not really. I just hate having to do things on a night duty that involve me using my brain.

Talking of using my brain, I had a good sort through my parent's loft yesterday and came away with 2 boxes of nostalgia items (and a few for eBay!). I had a bag of letters from an ex, both from before and during the relationship (interesting reading), some old drawings which were quite cute and amusing (myself and my mother both thought I had drawn a psychodelic mushroom, but we soon realised that it was actually a boat and we had it upside down. Shame!), and nearly all my old school reports.

I sat and had a great read of those earlier today, and it made me wonder why I either couldn't or didn't want to take on board the teachers comments, which seem very full of praise when reading back now, up to 13 years on. My own writing was very self-deprecating, and I noticed a running theme of "I need to improve my confidence and speaking up in class". Unfortunately the same still applies now, and I need to improve my confidence and speaking up in front of twats and bitches at work. I think I need to move on...

It's a shame that I didn't ever push myself more in school as I think I could have done so much better. I remember hating PE, for example, but reading back in my reports, I always wrote that enjoyed it for the most part. But now, I am a lazy bitch, and almost always detest doing any physical work. But it is no use regretting these things now unless I am willing to change them.

The cat has settled in a little better now, and was cutely sitting on my chest while I (sadly) watched Ready Steady Cook. Still some hissing and growling between all parties, but less physical alterations! One more week for him in "bedroom prison", and he can be set free to roam the back garden. I hope that no one is crying for this cat as that would break my heart to think that I had stolen him from someone, albeit with the greatest of intentions.

Go read the blogs on my blog linker list, add yourself, and COMMMENT COMMENT COMMENT! (Even if you came here looking for sillyrabbit.com, I'd still like to know that you exist!!)

Saturday, April 30, 2005

I like this article about The Two Things. I'm having a hard time coming up with two things for anything at the moment, but my excuse is that it is 5am, and I don't wanna, godammit!
Check out this site, and click on "Bodybuilder". Does it seem to you that Jesus could be doing some dodgy pelvic action towards the bodybuilders?! Well, it did to me, and I'm sorry for blaspheming, but these things can't go unnoticed!

And if you really don't want to be insulted, then please don't visit this site. Ever.

I was quite amused with the title for this site: "Blessed are the Merciful. Go Vegetarian." But then I felt bad when I actually read some of the site. Sorry! Bad rabbit, slap my wrist.

Apologies for the Jesus bent, but there you go. It's 4.10am.
OK, this is freaky. It's 3 Nazi SS soldiers (were they called soldiers?), with a kitten, on a blanket, with a flower. And a fucking hand grenade!! God, I love finding stuff like this on the net, then I get all freaked out that Nazi's posed a kitten with a hand grenade!

Talking of kittens, one turned up at work the other day, meowing a lot, and looking very thin, so softarse that I am, I took him home and put him in with my other 2 cats. It was shortly after, when my 2 cats had taken offence (if they could talk, I probably would have had to wash their mouths out with soap - but evil looks sufficed) and I had gotten around to reading my book on cat psychology, that I realised maybe just lumping all 3 cats together isn't the best idea I've ever had. So, I tell F that we need to keep them separate and introduce them slowly, and what does he say?

"I told you to do that yesterday!"

Cheeky shite.

He was also very cute, and said that he had fallen in love with the new kitten/cat (he's about 1 year, probably less), and hoped nobody claimed him! Bless.
Quote of the day:
Do you really have to LOVE somebody to say, "Hey, why the hell is your mouth bleeding?"

Thanks to A legend among whispers on Query Letters I Love for the great comment!

Monday, April 25, 2005

I've just checked my visitor stat summary, and was intrigued to find that one of the people who ended up here at my blog actually searched with the term "rabbit pus picture". I am trying to imagine why anyone would feel the need to search for a rabbit pus picture. Maybe they are a vet in training? Or just a sick bastard! I suspect they were sorely disapointed with my site...

By the way, it's nice to know that I have had over 300 "unique" visitors to my blog in the last month, but no-one is leaving any comments at all! Please let me know that you exist, and I'll know to come back and ramble some more. Or not. Or you could just find me using a random search term...

If you want belly-laughs, then head over to "Query letters I love" on my link list on the right, and make sure you read the comments.

Chris - comment, please!!

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Back to work after 2 weeks of dossing around doing nothing. Nightmare. We spent a week in Colchester sleeping on a very hard futon, but having a enjoyable time with family. I managed to be pretty ill on the last day there, having to spend the day in bed with a bad stomach!

My car is now finally fixed. The stupid exhaust slipped too low whilst we were away, and it sounded like it was being dragged along on a piece of string behind us a lot of the time, especially down the roman roads of Colchester. That was when we had all of our luggage, a load of fishing gear, plus all the extra things we had bought, AND 5 packs of tiles in the car... but it shouldn't have scraped the ground that much! I took it to the garage who had done the work originally, and they said they would test it with 4 fat blokes. They fixed it all up with a new bracket for free, so that was nice. Well, not so nice as expected, really, after they had charged me £650 and still bolloxed it up!

The elections are coming up on May 5th, and I'm finding it hard to muster any real enthusiasm for them. All the parties are as bad as each other, but if you vote you have to vote for one of them, or spoil your vote. I know of someone who deliberatly spoils his vote as he dispises all the candidates, but they don't count the spoilt votes, which I really think they should. Why should we be forced to vote for "the best of a really bad bunch" when we could say we don't like the look of any of them, and would rather have the country run by the Queen again, or even by a sheep. Even a sheep could do a better job of running this country that Old Tony.

"What's that you say, Mr Sheep?"
"45 minutes, you say? Well I'll be darned!"

Mr Sheep for PM!

Thursday, April 07, 2005

My computer has finally arrived! All of it!! I shall have a glowing blue, lovely fast pc tonight, and I think I shouldn't be this excited about it, but who cares?!

Got 2 weeks off work now, which is nice, but I've still got to prepare myself to drive all the way to Essex. Not sure how long it will take, but long enough!

I have a question - how do you get carers of the client's I work with to actually start caring? They all seem to think they are just here to get paid, and aren't interested in making the client's lives better, even though this is there own home. The carers always think they know better than professionals, and decide that they don't want to implement some programme as they don't think it will do any good. They are always going off for a cigarette break, or just sitting in the staff room. We wouldn't mind if they sat with the client's watching TV, as long as they were with the clients!!

Oh, it's becoming a nightmare, and I'm fed up of being dragged down by it all.

On a nicer note, I have my car back (but it did cost me the equivalent of the debt of a small 3rd world country)!

Email me, or add yourself to the bloglinker list, or do something! Let me know that you exist!

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Take 2 minutes and add yourself to my bloglink list on the right --->
It's been a while, I know! I lead a boring life, for the most part. It's a shame, because I wish I did have more friends - the type who contact you to go out, or just pop round for a cuppa, or call for a chat. I don't really have these friends, just the joint friends I have with F. Funnily enough, a couple of them have been round recently whilst F wasn't there, and we chatted, smoked, had a laugh, so maybe I do have some friends after all. I think people think I'm weird. I've always had that impression.

Should be getting my new computer tomorrow. It will arrive in pieces, but I know a lovely chappy who will put it all together for me. I think I'm not getting all of it tomorrow - there's some sort of delay at the warehouse end. Great. More hanging around.

Talking of hanging around - My car is in the garage for an MOT. A £650 MOT. Yes, you read right. It has been in since the 31st, and it is now the 6th, and they still haven't finished it! Too many nice things keep appearing that I want to buy, so I have to be very careful not to spend the money I've put aside for the dreaded garage, or I shall be in deep shite. It's those expensive rollbar bushes, you see. No, I don't either.

Going to Colchester on Friday, so shall hopefully see some old Uni friends (if the car is ready!!). I can't imagine we will have a huge amount to say to each other though, because they were the ones who thought F was a bad influence on me, and kinda shut me out of the CU, but that's by-the-by. I just want some friends!!

OK, I think that's enough of a pointless ramble for now. It's 4am, and I need to finish my work before I go home in 3.5 hours. Oh God. What a horrible thought, another 3.5 hours here.....

Saturday, March 05, 2005

As a quick update, I would love to point everyone in the direction of Neopets! Go there, sign up, and have some fun :)

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Not you.

you are two people,
not one.
you are kind, sweet, thoughtful and loving.
you are sexy, passionate, pleasing,
and then you switch
in the blink of an eye.
an obstacle, a problem,
and then you turn.
i see it in your eyes,
the light has gone.
you are angry, careless, destructive.
you are hateful, nasty, ugly.
you are still you,
but not the one i love.

Saturday, February 12, 2005

I now have to work on my "focus" and leadership skills at work. Great. I have to write a personal log of the "key issues" on my shifts, then write about 1 of them in detail at the end of each week. I ALSO have to write lists of things to do at the begining of my night shifts, then tick them off when I have completed the tasks. And save the lists to show to my boss. Does this make me sound like a big fool who doesn't ever do anything??

This job winds me up. My boss even told me he didn't think I'd want to stay there forever and that the mundanity of it will bore me!

More later....

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Well, would you believe it! I was amazed, and actually had to do a double take, when I noticed that since the creation of my little blog, there have been over 1000 views of it! I have no idea who has viewed it 1000 times, but my thanks go out to you : )

Chris - if it's you just reloading lots, then thanks anyway! lol

Lots to tell, but most of it I can't actually tell, so dwell on that...